To speak of my pregnancy this time around has been a delicate subject. Of course I found an occasional moment to be overjoyed with the thought of new life during those rough, rough, first 18 weeks, but for the most part, I lamented not having the strength or health to actually ENJOY the joy of pregnancy.
It being a miracle and all, the number one thing I wanted most was to celebrate this little one inside me, and so it is with all the pent-up joy in my heart from the past 4 months that I can officially, with a healthy body and mind, ENJOY the baby inside.
More than anything, I feel a sense of relief.
It's a relief to be able to celebrate with those who congratulate me on my growing belly, rather than fearing that even thinking about the baby might result in nausea.
It's a relief to get up in the morning and have happy dreams of a healthy delivery, rather than dread trying to make it through the day.
It's a relief to be able to smile at the minor inconveniences (pulsing leg veins, encumbered movement, and an eager appetite) rather than feel overwhelmed with major health issues.
It's a relief to feel the precious little arm and leg movements inside me, rather than relying on science to tell me the misery is for a purpose.
But it has been, the many weeks my misery was worth it- and now I can breathe into this 21st week of pregnancy and allow my heart to fill with joy, to ENJOY every lasting moment.
You, little one, are worth it...and I'm grateful for the health to remember this once again. You and I have an interesting history, and it will surely be an even more interesting future! I love you, all 10.5 inches (but you'd better keep growing)!
