Nursing Moms Fantasize Too

I think.
At least this one does.
Maybe some nursing mothers simply cannot imagine life without a nursling attached to them.

But I can; and although I truly feel blessed to have a successful nursing relationship with Blaire, I confess that my fantasy lately has been imagining 24 whole hours to myself.

24 hours, just me. My toddler doesn't need me. My job doesn't need me. My three month-old doesn't need me. My spouse doesn't need me. The house doesn't need me.

24 hours of rest. This may seem odd to those who have this on a regular basis. This may even seem strange for a pastor to say, someone who should be taking Sabbath rest seriously.

But seriously, Sabbath is a fantasy right now.

I suppose one might argue that I could arrange childcare for this (albeit quite difficult for a whole host of reasons, and not sustainable on a weekly basis). But even if I do, I'm tied to my pump 1/4 of the time and spend as much energy "righting the ship" of our nursing relationship upon return...that it just doesn't seem like a restful idea at all.

So here I sit, fantasizing. It's actually a pretty fun mental game. What would I do with 24 hours?

Well, obviously I'd sleep. About 12 hrs, which leaves 12 more to fill...

Likely with chocolate, exercise, reading, dancing, and maybe even looking in a mirror long enough to care for my appearance. But whatever I fantasize doing, it's never rushed.

I just cracked a smile. This thought is definitely a favorable one. And it will happen one day, I know. Sabbath rest is not an unattainable fantasy; it's actually possible, just not right now.

Because right now I'm nursing- and God must be giving us nursing mothers a little extra strength from heaven until that day our (very worthy) fantasy comes true, and we once again can experience Sabbath rest.

So maybe what I'm learning is how to better cherish Sabbath moments, rather than Sabbath days. And the truth is, nursing sessions have actually become moments of mental Sabbath for me. It's built-in down time that I believe God designed to give moms of infants an excuse to "zone out." And it's just enough time to fantasize that one day life will be a little more restful, a little more free.

Until then, Blaire, I'm grateful your cuteness and your incredibly sweet demeanor give me strength for each new day. :)

In a Bumbo already!