WHERE I GO FROM HERE

I am a curious person by nature. And a planner.
I love to recognize and know where God is at work in my life.
My life has always been lived in careful planning with a good dose of seizing unexpected opportunities.

Until now. Although I'd like to believe I'm still seizing unexpected opportunities- I do NOT have a plan.

Where do I go from here?

I am starting a new blog because I sense that the act of blogging brings some sort of clarify to my life, and hopefully it also brings a sense of uniting with friends near and far.

So here I am- living on a lake in Mina, SD with my dear husband. I have officially graduated from Rutgers with my Master of Social Work, from Princeton with my Master of Divinity. And I am unemployed.

Yes, I realize it's only been a few weeks.
Yes, I know my husband is wonderful and willing to provide for me while I search.
Yes, I know I am capable and bright.
Yes, I know that I have much to offer the Aberdeen area.

All of these affirmations are great, and necessary. But I must express that this is the first time IN MY LIFE that I don't have a clear direction. In August I will be 28, which means for the last 27 years I have always know the direction of my life- at least several months in advance.  But now I don't. And it's scary, exciting, terrible, freeing, and confining all at once.

And if I'm honest with you and myself, it can be difficult to get out of bed in the mornings.

So I ask from the deepest parts of my being- Where Do I Go From Here?

I have left a home in New Jersey that I miss terribly. My friends and church family in NJ have shaped me and challenged me and supported me and delighted in me. I miss them with all my heart (and tears).

And I have moved to Mina Lake, SD, an unfamiliar place with many friendly people. I know life is to be had in abundance here, but I recognize that I am still grieving New Jersey.

Of course everyone from SD expects me to be delighted upon return. But that word delighted suggests that I was eager to leave NJ. Not at all. Not me. I was eager to be with my husband, eager to live in our first house together, eager to make new friends and become reacquainted with old ones. But eager to leave NJ? Absolutely not.

So I find myself living into another wacky transition, a common experience within the last 10 years of my life. I moved from the invigorating, yet homogeneous community of Orange City, IA to the Pine Ridge Reservation, where I learned the feeling of being a minority and the love of my Lakota friends. From Pine Ridge I transitioned into one of the richest towns in America- Princeton, NJ. From Princeton we moved to Newark, NJ- one of the poorest neighborhoods in America. Then a brief and strange stint away from AJ in Highland Park, NJ....now to Mina Lake, SD- where neighbors are friendly and everyone looks just like me.

So Where Do I Go From Here?

Perhaps the answer to that question is really an antithetical response- Rather than going somewhere, maybe I need to stay for awhile. Put down roots. (Grow a garden, invite new friends to sip lemonade beside the lake, become reacquainted with family).

So where do I go? Today my answer will be- I will go outside and pull some weeds. That's where I will go.

                                                   A spider plant, the offspring of my mother's
                                                   spider plant wedding gift 35 years ago.