And I think what contributed to its earthiness this year was the fact that I performed this burning and crushing with my 1 (nearly 2) year-old. I go to the garage, followed promptly by the little leech of a learner, assuming this small pile of leaves will surely not create the type of alarming smoke it does. So in an attempt to both keep the (small) fire burning, open the garage door for ventilation, and keep my son safe, I end up drafting the smoke into the house (by way of the open door the curious toddler keeps open). I might add that neither Briggs nor I are properly dressed to be in the cold.
Ahh, so after the flame dies down, I follow the smoke back into the house and proceed to crush the ashes into dust. With Briggs' fervent help, soon we have a small pile of ash dust, and a house filled with the aroma of burning palms (which is surprisingly similar to the smell of a recreational drug). And so before sending my son off to day care, I feel compelled to throw our clothes into the laundry and air out the house the best I could in 15 degree weather. (I don't want assumptions about this PK being made before he's two!) :)
The final step is to mix a little oil in with the ashes. When asked by my husband if I use "holy oil," my reply is in spirit with the process of creating the ash itself...."Yes, that holy oil we use to cook with everyday."
That's about as ordinary and earthy as it gets. And yet somehow I couldn't help but see Christ in the process. Beginning with tearing palm leaves and reminiscing about the branches waving among the congregation last Palm Sunday, I think about the cycle of our own lives represented in the once-lively palms turned into dust. We are a magnificent creation, yes, but like the palms, we are created only for a short time on this earth. And it seems to me the best existence of all is to discover how our lives might wave in celebration of Christ, with whatever amount of time we have on earth. And I've witnessed those who are able to do this well, those who discover their ordinary lives are capable of glorifying an extraordinary Christ, seem most prepared when God calls them into the grace and dignity of becoming ash once again.
We all participate in the cycle of life, and Ash Wednesday is an invitation to ponder how we might use this precious opportunity in-between dust and dust.
God, give me the assurance and grace to be present with you in the fleeting moment between dust.
