My Final Week

This is my final week of life as I know it.

And I was just getting acquainted with the whole stay-at-home mom routine. Even so, I’m SUPER excited to formally begin my call as the pastor of the Congregational Christian Church of Columbia, SD. July 1 is my start date, and although that seemed quite far off when I selected it, that date is now exactly 1 week away! So many emotions accompany this life transition to Pastor Mom.

A decent-sized part of me feels anxious…

·         About the challenge of balancing mommy-time and pastor-time quickly headed my way.

·         About the need to share care-giving responsibilities for Briggs with others.

·         About what my house will look like once I begin working.

·         About the need to maintain full focus in pastoral duties while constantly mindful (or overly attentive) of my identity as a new mother.

·         About the many (inevitable) challenges awaiting me in the role of congregant leader.

And yet an even greater-sized part of me feels grateful…

·         Extremely grateful for 4 months of 100% mommy time to study, enjoy, and bond with Briggs, our new little creation. I cannot adequately express how valuable this time has been for me (and hopefully for Briggs).

·         For a church call that will mesh well with having a family (and for the warm welcome we have already received as a family within the congregation).

·         For the opportunity to re-activate my pastoral skills and passions- and a routine that structures my time more efficiently.

·         For a husband who not only supports me, but is eager to take on the role of pastor’s husband (a rare find, to be sure).

·         For a God who is our ultimate care-taker as I go about the task of joining God’s good work in my family, my community, and my congregation.

When I first started dating AJ, he selected this scripture and created a little gift utilizing it, a gift that remains a significant source of assurance to me as I contemplate my role as pastor mom. I will end this blog (and the adjoining era of my life) with this thought from the Apostle Paul…

Such confidence we have through Christ before God.  Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.  He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant—not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3: 4-6)

May my confidence and competence as a pastor and mom reflect the truth that Christ’s new covenant calls us to an ever-renewed life, a promise the Spirit of God upholds on our behalf. Praise be to God for life transitions and the confidence to fully embrace the newness of life.

So how will I spend this final week of life as I know it? Doing exactly what I've been doing, only perhaps I'll take a few extra minutes to love on Briggs.

What DO you DO all day?

It recently came to my attention that my (supportive & affirming) husband is unclear about what occupies my time “all day long.” To be clear, he did not ask me this; rather, he was asked this by another, and it was hard for him to respond. Instead of allowing this pesky question to bend me out of shape, I have decided to answer it for the benefit of all who have never experienced staying home "all day long" on a consistent basis.

Let me begin by addressing a few hidden questions…

No, I do not watch TV

No, I do not take a nap

No, I do not paint my nails—or otherwise pamper myself—nearly as much as I ought.

Had you dropped in on me any given day this past week, you may have found me…

v  Sorting, washing, drying, folding, & sorting again multiple loads of laundry

v  Giving Briggs a bath

v  Taking inventory of our household supplies, creating a list of needed items, and purchasing them with the (slightly distracting) help of an infant alongside

v  Introducing Briggs to the beauty of the outdoors, communicating with him to ensure he develops language capabilities, and playing with him during tummy time

v  Connecting with the outside world and satisfying my extrovert needs via facebook

v  Rearranging our bedding and furniture situation to accommodate the acquisition of a new bed

v  Managing business items pertaining to my new role as a pastor

v  Dusting, vacuuming, tidying, cleaning toilets, washing sinks, removing spider webs

v  Reading books to Briggs so he appreciates this as a life-long skill

v  Sweeping up the crumbs that (not only) I create in the kitchen

v  Holding Briggs, playing and praying with Briggs, reminding Briggs of my constant love and affection

v  Taking a highly-calculated trip into town to drop off recycling, deposit a check, pick up household supplies/prescriptions, and possibly…

v  Nursing Briggs in the back of my vehicle on said “highly-calculated” trip into town

v  Attempting to re-establish Briggs’ schedule after I inevitably mess it up with the “less than calculated” trip into town

v  Gathering and organizing mail and packages, responding to business and personal communication needs, informing my dear husband of schedules and obligations

v  Admiring and appreciating Briggs’ smiles, giggles, and babbling sounds

v  Tracking and managing personal finances, writing checks, calling insurance companies, sorting medical bills

v  Performing the occasional push-up and sit-up

v  Writing this blog, although AJ insists I am not technically a “blogger,” because I am not paid.

v  Cheering when Briggs poops, changing the obvious diaper

v  Weeding the garden, harvesting produce, mowing the lawn, planting flowers, picking up branches

v  Feverishly researching developmental milestones to ensure Briggs is on track

v  Pulling water-logged boat lift tires from the lake

v  Planning and cooking meals that satisfy my never-ending appetite and that of my husband

v  Singing made-up songs to Briggs, many of which are (surprisingly) clever

v  Taking walks with Briggs

v  Attempting to maintain personal health (and hygiene) so I remain productive in my parenting role

v  Putting Briggs down for a nap, getting Briggs up from a nap, putting Briggs down for a nap

Oh…and single-handedly sustaining the life of another human being. That too.

Tummy Time for both of us

The question I feel is more pertinent at this given time is this: “How will I manage to balance all that I currently do with the additional pastoral responsibilities quickly headed my way?” That seems a better question to entertain.

Schedule of a Baby

Or, schedule of a baby’s momma… which are two in the same, as I am quickly discovering.

Let’s talk about a daily schedule- for an infant. For reasons I may never quite understand, Briggs wakes up for the morning, and within an HOUR he needs his first nap of the day. Ha, and I’m talking after anywhere between 8 and 12 hours of sleep in one stretch at night. This momma who loves her sleep was blessed with a baby who also loves his sleep (I have not yet taken this for granted, and I praise our Creator each time I wake up to find a still-sleeping baby).

So why then, after 12 hours of sleep last night (yes, he is only three month old), is he sleeping again at 9am while I write this blog post? I don’t know, but some questions may be better left unanswered (especially after I had my best night yet— 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Accept it, Emily. Don’t question the logic). I honestly never thought this day would come, and I’m tearing up a little just writing it. Yes, I love sleep with the best of them!

Briggs will awaken from his first nap after 45 min to 1 hour (after all, how much more could he POSSIBLY need at this point in the day). He will play with me for a little while until I feed him, change his diaper, and set him down to re-discover the many animal friends attached to his playmat. Soon enough, however, he will get a bit cranky, sounding the alarm that it is time for another nap. And this process repeats about 4 times throughout the day. I vary the “play time” with a walk, reading a book, singing, or sitting outside with the trees and the breeze and the birds. I have learned that Briggs also LOVES to watch the ripples of the lake. He gasps a little each time the breeze touches his skin, which is an unexpected delight of mine.

And then it’s time for bed. Again. The days go surprisingly quickly when your baby sleeps for 12 hours. Although it’s not always a full 12 hours, he has been sleeping at least 8 hours since he was two months old, a truth I was reluctant to proclaim in fear that I might jinx his healthy habits. Yet it’s true, like mother like son. We like sleep around here, and although I don’t have a magical routine or recipe for success, I am just thankful that whatever we’ve been doing is working. Trust me, I read a TON of “how to get your baby to sleep” blogs, and this is not one of them. I tried a bunch of things at first, and the best advice I’ve followed is to put your baby down before he/she seems tired. Basically defy logic, and your baby may sleep better.

As I think about being a mom, it’s moments like this that I am SO grateful for this little bundle. Briggs challenges me, brings me delight, gives me focus, and most of all, keeps me honest about routine. Although I may want to play with him longer, or take him on a shopping trip, that baby routine kicks in and reminds me that Briggs’ schedule is a priority (for as long as I want those 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep, that is). I’ll take it, Briggs, your schedule can be my schedule any day!

Pastor Mom

I've been doing quite some reflecting about my blog this week.

You wouldn't know it, I realize, since I missed a post. But I have been thinking about the title: whereigofromhere.

In many ways, this has been a question that has directed both my personal and professional life- for as long as I can remember, life has consisted of one transition toward another (insert a short synopsis of my hop, skip and a jump from school to school-- to Americorps-- to school to school-- to a job (at a school)-- to now).

The fluidity of my life became a norm.

Until recently, with the advent of one really big life jump… to motherhood.

One year ago I began this blog, having no clue that I'd soon consider rocking a sleeping baby my most important work of the day. And I've been thinking it's time for another transition- a more permanent title, if you will, in answer to my own question. I've been going a lot of places and doing many things, and I think I’ve arrived at a destination that suits me:

Pastor Mom.

It suits me. I like the challenge of maintaining the flexibility and varied responsibilities both ministry and motherhood entail. I like it.

Pastor Mom.

As I think about my journey, so many episodes of learning, engaging conversations, daunting experiences, and rewarding relationships have led me to this moment in my life. It’s a destination of sorts, yet it’s also the start of another story.  It’s a story that is both familiar and mysterious.

Pastor Mom. As I repeat this phrase to myself, I am excited and terrified at the same time.

Excited to be able to mesh my personal and professional relationships in the loving environment of a faith community, yet terrified that I will let excellence slip away from my repertoire of expectations both in ministry and parenting. I suppose all working moms have this fear. Three months ago, however, I never thought I'd be able to handle so much as a load of laundry while also caring for an infant,yet I've learned.

I've learned to make the most of my time- not in a "cram as much in as possible" way, but in a "what's most important right now" way. Like holding Briggs. That's pretty darn important if you ask me. And making sure he gets good naps, smiles occasionally, practices motor development, looks at the moving leaves on the trees, engages with people (he is my son, after all), and ends every day knowing how much he is truly loved.  That, for me, is making the most of my time.  And beginning in July, I will have to relearn how to incorporate being a mother (and still doing laundry) while also prioritizing a congregation who has entrusted me into their care.

So regardless of whether or not I use the more permanent blog title: Pastor Mom, I am convinced that this is exactly where I need to be. Forever in the balance between motherhood and ministry, knowing in God’s arms I rest. Let the fun continue!

Me two years ago graduating from seminary- TOTALLY not anticipating the whole "Pastor Mom" bit.

Not a clue...

We are nearly 3 months into this parenting business. Next week, our darling will have hit that momentous age at which he truly comes alive (not in the “definition of life” sense, but in the “leaving the so-called 4^th trimester” sense). I previously acknowledged that my mother’s intuition is strong enough to send me straight to google with questions of all sorts. I’m now three months in, however, and I secretly hoped that perhaps by this time I’d have a clue.

Like, a “built-up” mother’s intuition, or something of that sort.

But so far, not a chance.

I want to say that I “know” my child- as in, I know what his smile looks like, I know that crying means he needs something, I know that he is a baby… oh wait, that’s common knowledge. It’s the details a mother is supposed to know:

What makes him spit up vs. not spit up?

Why does he go from happy to screaming in one second?

How long should he nap?

What are his favorite toys?

If he cries during a nap, does it mean he is still tired or he is ready to wake up?

How much does he eat in one feeding?

Why does he never eat/sleep/play in the same order, despite all attempts at setting a schedule?

Does he thrive best with a schedule or on his own timing?

Why does he go to sleep perfectly at Grandma’s house, yet cry for 1.5 hours in his own crib?

Will he poop today? Five times in one day? Wait five days before pooping?

Does being in active environments tire him out? Over-stimulate him? Both? Neither?

I don’t have a clue.

These might seem like silly questions, but ask any new mom, and they run through our heads constantly (or ask my husband…last night after I mentioned half-a-dozen hypotheses regarding Briggs’ inability to fall asleep, AJ said (tongue-in-cheek) “Or maybe he has an unsolved math problem stuck in his head.” Very funny, AJ.)

People assume I know the answers, which of course I don’t. I will tell you something (quite assuredly) one day, and recant my so-called knowledge the next.

Even so, I have discovered three things for sure:

1. My academic/inquiring nature only serves me well in so far as I don’t go crazy when answers aren’t easily obtained using the “google it” method.

2. As soon as I figure Briggs out, he changes.

3. Briggs knows me and seems content with me as a mother, despite me having no clue.

Oh! and…drive-thru restaurants are a mother’s best friend.