 |
| A sunrise experienced while awaiting AJ's test results |
The Tuesday before Halloween, AJ came home from a brief stop at the ranch office looking miserable. He'd already not been feeling great, but since he often readily admits to the "man cold" phenomonen, I didn't pay much attention. Even when I learned that four ranch employees all tested positive for Covid, I continued to doubt its occurrence in our family. AJ is preparing for the biggest sale the ranch has ever hosted, and for weeks he's had his nose buried in the computer compiling the catalog. Seemingly keeping a distance from those who'd presented symptoms, AJ's chances of having Covid seemed unlikely. He tested on Wednesday morning, and we awaited results until Friday evening.
This is meant to be my honest contribution to the growing story of Covid spreading in our great country, so I need to say this: Even though AJ got tested on Wednesday, the rest of us didn't self-isolate until we received the surprisingly positive results on Friday evening. I really was convinced he'd test negative (I'd been down this path a few times with him the past 6 months). Except this time, I was wrong. And me being wrong put the health of others in jeopardy.
On Friday, I sent Briggs to school. I officiated a graveside funeral. I entered the church building with another congregant to tidy up before a big service on Sunday. I even went into Goodwill for a brief moment with both kids. On this side of these past 10 days, all of my actions now seem negligent. But that's the crazy part of Covid days. We can only live in the moment we're in, without the benefit of hindsight to guide us.
I have two pieces of consolation I cling to as I sit with the reality that for two days, my actions possibly put the health of others in jeopardy. First, my covid test from Saturday morning came back negative, which I hope to mean I wasn't yet contagious on that Friday. (I definitely contracted Covid, however, as did our kids, and I'll get to our symptoms in a bit). My second piece of consolation is that in the midst of all the uncertainty 2020 has offered, I've made certain one thing: the kids and I wear masks indoors. Do I know for certain that we didn't spread? Of course not, but our mask-wearing has been an essential part of making peace with the choices I've made the past two weeks.
I share that I received a negative test result, because I think it's significant to note how many of us have Covid-19 beyond what the official test results reveal. I can't tell you why I tested negative, but I can share our family's health journey these past 13 days.
AJ was SICK. I mean, didn't get off the couch for a week, couldn't work, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Meanwhile, the kids and I started exhibiting symptoms more gradually. In addition to being extra tired and irritable, both kids shared a few strange symptoms I hadn't yet heard connected to Covid-19. Gastro-intestinal changes and cystitis, or urinary pain and frequency. Like a UTI, only triggered virally. Blaire continues to deal with this, and I mention it to contribute to our collective growing knowledge of this bizarre virus. Last night I had her in a pull-up, because she just can't control it. (For reference, she hasn't used a pull-up in so long I actually forgot we even had them! And neither kid has ever had urinary issues in the past).
 |
| Nothing keeps this girl down. |
All while caring for AJ, homeschooling the kids, keeping up with laundry and cleaning, and providing 12 meals a day for our growing kiddos (okay, barely 3 meals a day, but oodles of snacks), I've also been trying to manage my own health. My symptoms? Low-grade fever that comes and goes (never above 99.5, but always a sensation of feeling very warm), typical sinus congestion and a-typical brain fog, strange body aches (neck, back, head), prickly feelings in my legs, persistent ear pressure, sore throat and cough, difficulty catching a full breath, and the clincher that confirmed it for me: losing my sense of smell and taste. But the most difficult to manage, given my role as momma: FATIGUE.
 |
| Day 4 of reading comprehension with Briggs |
I can't say my symptoms are improving, not yet. I would estimate that I'm about 5 days post-AJ in experiencing my symptoms, and just yesterday he stopped taking pain meds. So I hope that by mid-week these symptoms will lift. I'm also realistic and know many cases don't improve until 3-4 weeks in. I also know how very little we yet understand, which is why I offer our experience, in hopes it might create a sense of solidarity and ease among others.
The final aspect of this Covid-19 experience I want to highlight is the extravagent KINDNESS I've received from our village here in Pierre. SO MANY church folks, neighbors, and friends have checked in, offering to run errands for us. The independent part of me has difficulty asking, but I appreciate the intense willingness of those who've cared for us via errands run and meals delivered. Last night I cried on my front stoop, exhaustion in my voice, as I thanked a congregant for providing a meal. I often preach caring for each other as a grace of community, and when I find myself in a moment of need, it confirms for me how much I really believe that we are better together.
Thank you for holding us in your prayers. Thank you for caring in the ways you do. I wish I could say we've cleared this virus, I can't. What I can affirm is this: the peace I find in the midst of chaos is because of the community we exist among; you are all balm that leads to healing.
 |
| Last night's sunset; God's beauty on full display, even amidst sickness |
