What we whisper matters

The other day, as we were playing one of Briggs' new favorite games (you know, the game where you take a spare bicycle seat and swing at a tennis ball? Yeah, that one), I caught a glimpse of how much a child's language acquisition depends on what is spoken around him. As much as the words being conveyed, I'm realizing the tone of the language counts too.

And Briggs' tone is quite endearing whenever we "play catch." Regardless of the situation, no matter if the ball is dropped or not, Briggs assures us that we're doing well. "Nice catch, Daddy!" "Nice throw, Mommy!" (much like I've encouraged him as he develops his skills each step of the way). And as much as I love his words, it's his tone that impresses me. He speaks with a confident assurance that we've been trying ever-so-discreetly to instill within him.  Now I don't mean to condone the "you are more special than others" type of parenting. I'm not interested in teaching my children that. But positive affirmations? The kind that promote goodness and generosity of spirit? That matters to me. And kids learn these over a series of countless interactions with us.

So when I hear my own child chirp affirmations like that, I crack a smile and make a mental note to always be kinder with my tongue,  more thoughtful with my conversations. Because if there's one thing this parenting business has taught me, it's this: what we whisper in our homes becomes the language of the next generation.

I've been whispering in Briggs' ear for some time now: reminders that God loves him, sweet songs of nurture and care, reassurance that he is a good boy (even when he makes mistakes), and the kind of affirmations I hope one day he shares with others. Because we hope that when a child grows up knowing he is beloved, he will have the emotional capacity to treat others with generosity, care, respect, and good cheer, the same way it's been whispered into his heart, year after steadfast year.

I'm just now beginning this journey again, whispering in Blaire's little ear, "Mommy loves you, little girl, and I can't wait to show you the good in this world."

May all of us who find ourselves in the vocation of raising the next generation be mindful of what we whisper into the hearts of those who listen.