"But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to youth ministry this year. Our
confirmation crew had so much awesome momentum in early March, having prepared
a meaningful worship for you all, focused on lives of service a few days before they could offer their
carefully prepared worship, the world turned upside down. Jack, Avery, Sarah,
and Jenna and all of our youth have been faced with issues adults have trouble
handling, on top of the already tumultuous “being a teenager” stuff.
All the while, it’s not safe to gather together for supportive
conversation and prayer- as I have longed to do (maybe they have longed for it
too). Sure, we can make contact and enjoy little moments of connection, but
what I miss most is the face-to-face opportunity to share deeply of our lives.
Ministry in the teenage years is crucial, in a narrow window of time
when meaning-making and identity-formation are strongest. And while I totally
think the stories and teaching of our faith should factor in heavily, what I
have always valued most in youth ministry is the lasting power of relationships.
We have a strong mentor-type model of faith formation in our church, and so
even while I mourn the loss of time to gather around content, I trust the very
real connections youth make in church and with church friends beyond the walls
of worship, will last far longer than the details of a curriculum.
And so I come back to this: seeing a life of faith modeled by adults is
the most effective form of spiritual education. And guess what- neither a pastor nor a program is even required for
this kind of Christian Education. Of course, I love the chance to be authentic
about my faith with our youth (and I cherish each of them and their willingness
to trust me in walking alongside) AND our SS teachers are vital…but what we
hear time and again from graduates is this: it’s the WHOLE CHURCH FAMILY, in
interactions ranging from inside jokes, to celebrating milestones, to a
consistent handshake, hug, or smile, that has shaped who they are and how they see
God at work in their lives.
That means you are (whether you know it or not) all engaged in youth
ministry, all the time. How we model
our faith matters. It matters so much, in fact, that it will influence the
way young people experience God. So if we as church want to take youth ministry
seriously- we have a simple directive to follow: Live in a way that young
people will identify the Spirit at work in our lives.
Recently I listened to Brene Brown speak about the power of vulnerability
and openness in parenting, and in one sentence she sums up her parenting
advice. I love it for the implication of youth ministry as well. Here it is, no
fancy programs required: “be the adult
you want your child to grow up to be.”
And I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s this passage in Galatians
about spirit-filled living that I want to embody: “love, joy,
peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control.” When we live by the
Spirit- we actually produce this kind of fruit. And it’s exactly what I pray
our young people will see us embody as a church. We’re not perfect of course,
but steadily we can create this type of culture in our homes and our churches.
It’s Father’s Day, so let me offer one personal note about my own
experience of growing up in the faith. At the age of 15 (that’s our
confirmand’s age), I was asked to preach on Father’s Day. I was given no
direction, simply a supportive, “Whatever you want to preach, Emily, it’ll be
great.” Okay, awesome! I ended up selecting scripture that spoke of how I saw
my own father embody his faith. That scripture was: Galatians 5: 22-23.
Now, I had an awesome youth group and youth minister during my teenage
years, but do you know how my faith grew most? By watching my parents model for
me a life devoted to the fruit of the Spirit. Are they perfect? Of course not.
But day after day and year after year, they produced fruit that spoke of
Spirit-filled life. My most vivid memory of faith that I received from my
father actually has nothing to do with what he said. I would sometimes sneak to
the top of the stairs when I was supposed to be sleeping, and watch as my dad
sat in his recliner reading the bible. Sometimes it was a book about pigeons,
but mostly it was the bible. As I grew older, same thing. I’d pass by on my way
to bed, he’d look up from his bible just long enough to say goodnight,
sweetheart. He didn’t have to say much about his faith because he embodied it-
he modeled spirit-filled living, and I’m convinced that youth ministry in
churches is way more about relationships than it is programs. Those
spirit-filled connections can certainly originate in the home, AND as church we
can be young people’s chosen faith families, the people who model Christ’s way
of living for young people.
So on Father’s Day, here’s a simple and profound gift anyone who wishes
to be a father-figure can do: Be the adult you want our youth to grow up and
be. That’s true youth ministry. Amen!
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