Pastor Mom

I've been doing quite some reflecting about my blog this week.

You wouldn't know it, I realize, since I missed a post. But I have been thinking about the title: whereigofromhere.

In many ways, this has been a question that has directed both my personal and professional life- for as long as I can remember, life has consisted of one transition toward another (insert a short synopsis of my hop, skip and a jump from school to school-- to Americorps-- to school to school-- to a job (at a school)-- to now).

The fluidity of my life became a norm.

Until recently, with the advent of one really big life jump… to motherhood.

One year ago I began this blog, having no clue that I'd soon consider rocking a sleeping baby my most important work of the day. And I've been thinking it's time for another transition- a more permanent title, if you will, in answer to my own question. I've been going a lot of places and doing many things, and I think I’ve arrived at a destination that suits me:

Pastor Mom.

It suits me. I like the challenge of maintaining the flexibility and varied responsibilities both ministry and motherhood entail. I like it.

Pastor Mom.

As I think about my journey, so many episodes of learning, engaging conversations, daunting experiences, and rewarding relationships have led me to this moment in my life. It’s a destination of sorts, yet it’s also the start of another story.  It’s a story that is both familiar and mysterious.

Pastor Mom. As I repeat this phrase to myself, I am excited and terrified at the same time.

Excited to be able to mesh my personal and professional relationships in the loving environment of a faith community, yet terrified that I will let excellence slip away from my repertoire of expectations both in ministry and parenting. I suppose all working moms have this fear. Three months ago, however, I never thought I'd be able to handle so much as a load of laundry while also caring for an infant,yet I've learned.

I've learned to make the most of my time- not in a "cram as much in as possible" way, but in a "what's most important right now" way. Like holding Briggs. That's pretty darn important if you ask me. And making sure he gets good naps, smiles occasionally, practices motor development, looks at the moving leaves on the trees, engages with people (he is my son, after all), and ends every day knowing how much he is truly loved.  That, for me, is making the most of my time.  And beginning in July, I will have to relearn how to incorporate being a mother (and still doing laundry) while also prioritizing a congregation who has entrusted me into their care.

So regardless of whether or not I use the more permanent blog title: Pastor Mom, I am convinced that this is exactly where I need to be. Forever in the balance between motherhood and ministry, knowing in God’s arms I rest. Let the fun continue!

Me two years ago graduating from seminary- TOTALLY not anticipating the whole "Pastor Mom" bit.